Beautiful
by Shamera
Summary: Little girls are supposed to have the faces of China dolls and be soft and beautiful. Millicent Bulstrode fanfic.


AN: Some people might think that she's a bit young to be rebellious. (10 years old?) But that's not true. I remember being rebellious at that age. I think my teenaged rebellion stage was from 10-15. I also remember being 5'4 when I was 10 (and being Chinese, that's taller than a lot of other female Chinese adults.) so I guess I sympathized with her. But I didn't want to make her too special, only that she wanted to be unique. I just had to write this, as it was at the top of my head- this, however, has no point other than sympathy. I was going to add femslash in here, but I didn't know who to pair Millie with since I didn't want her paired with Pansy or Hermione.

  
  


Beautiful  
Shamera 

  
  
There always seemed to be requirements for little girls to be petite and beautiful. Little girls wore pretty dresses and played with dolls that looked just like them- and dressed in their mother¡¦s clothes and makeup, pretending that they were adults. Little girls had curls and ribbons in their hair, and screamed at the sight of horrific insects that boys would sometimes carry around. 

Millicent had always wanted to be like that. 

But she could never manage to be small and petite. She was large boned and grew up way too fast, always taller and more muscular than the boys. Millicent didn¡¦t have the porcelain skin or the China doll features that were ideal for little boys and girls. She had tried playing with dolls once only to realize that she couldn¡¦t keep herself in the world of make believe so easily. She had tanned skin from playing outside in the sun so much, despite the protests of her parents. She had cuts and scars all over her knees and elbows from falling so much- and had to see a mediwitch once a month to heal those scars. 

Throughout her younger years, Millicent had made herself happy by playing with the boys, laughing and playing pranks with them like she was one of them. She had tastefully ignored the heated glares that the girls would give her- because she was different, because she wasn¡¦t pretty like them. She was just ¡¥Millie¡¦ to the guys, and they were more than happy to play sports with her. 

She had shown signs of magical talent a bit earlier than an average child, and her parents had been delighted, knowing that she would be attending Hogwarts for sure now. They had used spells to lighten her hair, to make it curlier and frame her face better. They tried to lighten her complexion and change her features, but magic couldn¡¦t make her any prettier. Her parents had tried in vain to delay her growth spurts, wanting a small and beautiful child. 

And from that early age, Millicent had detested her parents. 

¡¥Don¡¦t be late for your sewing lessons, Millicent¡¦ they would say, or ¡¥make sure not to ruin that dress- and remember to _curtsy_ when you meet the guests¡¦. They praised her when she picked at her food delicately, and berated her when she played in the dirt. 

When she grew a little older, Millicent didn¡¦t want to wear the dresses anymore. She didn¡¦t disillusion herself into thinking it would make her any prettier. She knew she had strong features, even at such a young age. Soft, delicate dresses only sought to make her look ridiculous. The curls in her hair made her look like a monster, and the light blonde competed too harshly with her dark complexion. She wasn¡¦t the beautiful little girl that her parents wanted, and hated that they would still try to make her something that she wasn¡¦t. 

When Millicent was seven, her mother gave birth to her baby sister. The baby girl was everything that her parents had dreamed of, with delicate features and light blonde hair to match a milky complexion. She even had hazel eyes and smiled sweetly at the guests despite her young age. 

The baby girl was showered with compliments and praises, fit in frilly dresses and taught to be the best that a pureblooded witch could ever be. From then on, Millicent was forgotten by her family. 

She watched from the shadows of doorframes as her parents cooed over the younger child, plain brown eyes blank when they talked about how beautiful and wonderful their daughter was. She would go down to dinner late on purpose so that she didn¡¦t have to listen to her family talk about how ¡¥this is how little girls are supposed to be¡¦. 

Millicent was ten years old before she remembered that she wouldn¡¦t see her friends ever again once she went to Hogwarts. And for the first time in years, she cried in the dark of her room, because her friends were the only people who saw her for who she was, and she didn¡¦t want to leave them. By that age, she was already taller than most adults, and had been mistaken for people older than her more than once. 

It was that day when she cried that Millie decided she didn¡¦t want her parents to dictate who she was anymore. She had called up the house elves to rid the charms in her hair, so that it was straight and brown once more. Then she had taken the kitchen knife and cut off her hair in lumps until it settled above her ears in thick, uneven clumps. She didn¡¦t want to be like other little girls. She would rather look like a boy than be compared to her younger sister, who was so much prettier and fairer than her. She decided she would never again wear dresses, nor fanciful robes that her parents had wanted her to wear. 

She would go to Hogwarts and make new friends. People who could see her for the person she was. 

But even that wasn¡¦t to be. While her parents hadn¡¦t punished her for what she had done, they refused to even look at her, not acknowledging the fact that they had another daughter whom they never showed to guests anymore. It didn¡¦t matter that she had great accomplishments in sports teams, or that she was holding decent grades in school and bad many friends- those things were what parents would show off about their young boys, not girls. 

And as her Hogwarts day approached, Millicent decided that she didn¡¦t want to be a Hufflepuff like the rest of her parents had been. She wanted to shock people. She didn¡¦t want to be known in relation to her family, and she wanted to break away from everything that her parents had taught her. Millie wanted to be _different_. 

It came as a shock to everyone except her when she ended in up Slytherin, the one house that her family had despised. She wanted to be unique, after all. Wanted to be remembered, and wanted to prove everyone else wrong. Girls were delicate. Girls could fight it they wanted to; girls could make a difference. 

She endured the sneers of the House and the taunting, knowing that it would all go away in time. She didn¡¦t care that they called her names and made fun of her. Millicent already knew that she wasn¡¦t pretty- far from it. But outer appearances shouldn¡¦t matter. She would astound them with her strategic mind, so unlike Crabbe and Goyle. She could offer her strength and loyalty, her dedication and her ambition. 

She would prove that she was just as beautiful as everyone that her parents had compared her to- only not physically. She would be invaluable to those who gained her respect and admiration. Her sharp mind and great strength would come in handy for the people whom she fought for, and she would be a better person than what her parents had intended for her. 

In the end, Millicent Bulstrode didn¡¦t want to be a little girl after all. 

  



End file.
